Men are children

4125
Take a moment TO consider folklore. Cupid was essentially a streaker man-child who used poisoned arrows TO create "Eros". Nowadays, we would call him a frat boy AND arrest him FOR slipping girls roofies. Gross. 4151

Stupid Cupid

9384
You may want TO hide your phone. Suddenly, checking IN with old boyfriends who are now married but couldn't commit TO you may sound like a wise idea. 1027

Get Fat

3443
THE only thing worse than NO date AND NO presents is when your mom sends you a bouquet OF flowers. Do you lie about who it's from or tell THE truth? Try TO figure OUT which is THE less sad option. 8850
We love a good ballad just as much as everyone else,?but THE week before Valentine's Day you are?pretty much forced TO steer clear OF THE radio. All you will hear are sappy love songs, which are not good FOR your psyche when you are already engaging IN THE mental countdown TO hell. THE result? Even your commute routine is ruined by this ridiculous holiday. 2629

Drunk Dials

8636

Crappy music

3270

Home alone

6714
There's NO pleasing your friends. If your boyfriend gives you a lame gift (i.e. drugstore roses or heart-shaped chocolates), they'll tease you. If he gives you nothing, they'll tell you you are in a go-nowhere relationship. AND if you get a great gift, clearly he has something TO hide! 9038
Feb. 14 is actually THE feast day OF Saint Valentine, who is THE real reason FOR THE observation. It's also THE anniversary OF a bloody massacre! Neither OF these occasions necessitate hearts and flowers. 6754
Raise your hand if you've pretended TO HAVE a date just TO avoid THE fate OF going OUT with a bunch OF single women AND getting trashed IN celebration OF your "independence". 6261

Pity Gift

5086
As if you don't feel bad enough about having had NO one TO kiss on New Year's Eve, now you will HAVE a new opportunity TO listen TO best friends AND loved ones coo about getting engaged?while?you pretend?to BE interested -- really, you just want a bottle OF tequila. 8610
? 8036
2416
Let's face it: Single or no, this is a really unhealthy holiday. A month after you've pledged TO lose THE Christmas weight, you are faced with excessive chocolate consumption. 9277
They are unable TO handle THE "pressure" OF Valentine's Day, AND thus resent you FOR expecting a present, a date, a phone call or actually anything at all. 1348

Peer Pressure

2482

The Good Friend

1734